happy purr-day

  Another year, another birthday. I’m four now. I was so excited this morning that I woke my human parent up at 5.45am, demanding breakfast.

There were, at first glance, no presents to be seen. But when she got home this evening she came bearing gifts-a tin of tuna and salmon luxury cat food and a cat nip mouse that, quite frankly, doesn’t really compare with the live rodent that I dragged in the other day. Still, I suppose it’s the thought that counts.

  
She also told me that I share my birthday with the Queen of England, so I’ve been celebrating in similar style. Instead of waving regally at passers-by from a balcony, I’ve been watching the neighbours from the window ledge. As soon as one appears that I like, I shoot off to see them. They have cat treats you see, and leather sofas I try to sharpen my claws on. 

I also like to hide in their wardrobes. No-one can see me, but I can see them…

  

When it’s hard to wake up in the morning

  

Every weekday, in solidarity with my human parent who has to go to work and earn money to buy me cat food, cat nip and cat toys, I wake up like this when the alarm goes off.

Oh, my eyes! It can’t be that time to get up already! I feel like I’ve barely slept…

Of course, she usually gives me dirty looks as she sits there munching her muesli, knowing full well that I’ll be asleep the whole day once she finally leaves the house. Oh, and she needn’t bother to make the bed before she goes as I’ll still be in it.

Do I feel bad about our contrasting lifestyles? Her with her 9-6 and me with my sleep-til-whatever-time-I-like. Of course I don’t. I’m a cat. The only things I care about are tuna, salmon, and the birds singing outside that, no matter how high I jump, I just can’t catch.

Cats in hats

After the clothes for cats that I wrote about previously, we now have hats for cats. That’s right, I’ve been on the Daily Mail again.

According to the newspaper, American knitwear designer Sara Thomas has come out with a book, CATS IN HATS. The tome features 30 knitting and crochet patterns “to fit every puss’s personality”.

I had a look a the pictures, and there is indeed something for everycat: cowboy hats, top hats, dinosaur hats, santa hats….

I’m so glad my human parent cannot knit

Cat vs smartphone, laptop, tablet….

cat laptop

Journaldugeek.com reports that a Square Trade survey carried out between 2010 and 2015 in Europe found that humans have spent over 1.5 billion euros on replacing or repairing electronic devices damaged by their pets. Yes, that’s right – pets have battled 8mn smartphones, tablets and laptops, and caused some serious damage.

I suspect, although my human parent hasn’t confirmed this, that my daily naps on her open macbook contributed to the machine’s demise two years ago. This hasn’t stopped me doing the same thing on the new one though, so we’ll see how long this one lasts.

Paris’ pop-up cat cafe

© Purina One

© Purina One

Pet food brand Purina One has opened a pop up cat cafe in Paris.

The cats present in the cafe have come from two partner breeders. The cats (between seven and 10 of them and including siamese, maine coon and sphynx cats) are apparently used to contact with the public and being in cat shows. Each night they will go back to their homes in the close suburbs, because, as we all know, the role of humans on this planet is to keep us kitties safe, happy, and well fed.

Entry to the cafe is free, ditto for the hot drinks and little squares of chocolate, and you can even get a free sample of cat biscuits tailored to your kitty’s needs. Experts are on hand, too, to answer any questions you might have,

There are already two permanent cat cafes in Paris, one of which my human parent visited a while ago. Not sure why she’d want to go to cafes with cats when I’m right here at home, but there you go.

Purina One pop up cat cafe is open from 5-13 june, located at 5, rue de Turbigo – 75001 Paris

cafe cat© Purina One

#catshaming

My human parent just told me about something called cat shaming. I knew dog shaming existed, as all dogs are idiots, but I didn’t knowvthat kitties like me were shamed too.

I now live in fear of turning up on Instagram next to a handwritten note telling the world what I’ve done. I’ll have to make sure I’m on my best behaviour from now on, which means no being sick on the bed, clawing holes in my human parent’s clothes, or pooping on the bathroom floor.